Vacay!

Dear readers. Excuse me, "reader." I am sure you have felt my absence keenly. But do not fret. I am back and am happy to report that at least 1/4 of my MIA status was due to my being on vacation up in beautiful Big Bear. Nothing like that fresh mountain air to clear one's head. And now everyone gets to experience my vacation vicariously because I am about to tell you ALL about it.

The trip is probably best told through pictures. They being worth a thousand words and all that. But of course I didn't bring a camera. Nor did my trusty roommate. So I did what any savvy internet user would do. I swiped a few choice pics off of friends' facebook albums. Thanks facebook.

Okay actually this picture is not worth that many words because it is deceptive. You can't tell, but we are perched on top of these precariously placed rocks atop a huge mountain. Or at least a hill. Anyway I was scared for my life as I sat there. And here it is on film looking like we're just hanging out on the ground by some trees. We almost look bored. How can I show off how adventurous I am when people climb higher than me and then take pictures looking down?

This kind of looks like we're playing on unfinished miniature train tracks. But really what's happening here is an intense game of horseshoes. The week was filled with horseshoe tournaments, complete with trash talk and a modified style of scoring (leaners were worth the most points as they were a rare accomplishment. Psh, ringers were easy). No one was injured in the competitions though a few times people did have to dodge flying iron. Turns out those horseshoes are kinda heavy and hard to control. Also, not that it matters, but I should mention that my team was pretty much unbeatable. Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha. We're ready to take on the real cowpokes now.

Here we are on our very own pontoon boat doing what any good crew would do: nothing. Well. Most of us did nothing. As you can see from the picture at least our driver was alert at the helm. Also the fact that I called him a "driver" betrays the fact that I know nothing about boating. ....Driver because he drives the boat? Eh?.... Even as they were renting us the boat I thought "Really? You're just going to let us take it and we're in charge? You're not sending one of your worker people with us?" But then I remember that the important thing in our rental situation was that I would never be in charge of the boat.

Anyway, the lake was great, we had swimming competitions, fed ducks, played cards and ate lots of sandwiches. And, of course, after lunch we chased down a pirate ship. But the pirate ship pretty much ignored us. Pirates are mean.

We also attended the Annual Miners Days Log Jammer Jubilee. We were very excited at the prospect of throwing axes and rolling on logs. But turns out it's not exactly like that. Yes, you could be a participant if you wanted, but it would cost you a pretty penny (although you did get to keep a chic orange "contestant" t-shirt) and you would be competing against real mountain men with long white beards and pony tails who came out of their isolation solely to compete in the tomahawk throw. So, what I'm saying is: a) you wouldn't stand a chance of winning anything or even looking respectable and b) when you put the mountain men in charge of running the events (as was the case) things move really slowly. Which means you probably will only get to see axe throwing before you decide maybe you should've gone to the Bluegrass Bluejeans festival instead. Although we didn't get to see all the competition we'd hoped to, we did get a feel for what it would be like to live in a place where everyone knows who you are and gives you nicknames like "peanut" and when you want to go to the annual log jammer jubilee and sell trinkets you made out of bark you just pack up and put the trailer in drive.

And what would a trip to the mountains be without a turn down the Alpine Slides? As you can see, some of us were not happy about being put in the beginners line, but safety first. If you've never been before then it's for your own good. Others, of course, lied about their expertise and got to go in the fast line. Don't let the yellow of the sleds decieve you. Those things were harbingers of death. Luckily none of us were booed by the crowd (that does happen if you go too slowly down the fast slide) and no one flipped over (which, according to the worker guy, is a daily occurrence). So win-win!

Ah Big Bear. Of course pictures can't portray everything. For example, the theater we watched The Dark knight in was, hands down, the worst smelling theater I have ever been in. Oh funny small towns. No but seriously that place was gross. It was like being in a nasty stale locker room that a tired-after-practice football team had just vacated. Sadly, I did get used to the smell. After the first hour.

We also failed to capture on film (and by "we" I mean the people from whom I "borrowed" the included pictures) the under-water breath-holding competitions in the kiddie pool. Yes we are aware that the little kids use that pool as a conveniently close restroom. But that only adds to the accomplishment of winning this particular feat of strength. In the end it was decided that since no one could even come close to the time posted by our 2nd Lt. friend, that it was only fair that we do a relay type race against him. Four of us would hold our breath one by one and he would hold his breath the whole time. And yes, he almost won.

All in all Big Bear was good to us. Nice suites, good company, good food, and of course friendly games of Pepper and Loaded Questions. Who could ask for more?