It's official

I'm bag-free baby! I'm reacquainting myself with the restroom and we're getting along fine so far. I'm not quite used to not having the bag though. I notice every time I put my pants on I automatically adjust for the bag and then realize - wait, I'm free! And now my dog can sit on my lap without me having to worry that she'll squish my bag. Really anyone can sit on my lap now, but Lily was the most likely to take advantage of that offer. I do have a weird tan line where my bag was attached to my skin. I don't know how that happened since my belly never saw the light of day while I had ol' baggie attached. But whatever! What else? I can sleep an entire night- no getting up at 3am to empty an uncomfortably full bag. Life is great. And if anyone needs ostomy supplies I can hook you up; plenty of leftovers. :)

On a completely unrelated note, happy birthday to my dear brother-in-law! I'm glad you're part of the fam, and this year I hope we send out a Christmas card where your eyes are open. :) Love you!

The Hospital

Wednesday I spent the day prepping for my last surgery! (assuming, of course, the cyst thing clears itself up). Prepping basically involves drinking only clear liquids and downing two bottles of magnesium citrate. I don't know if you've ever had to drink magnesium citrate but I hope for your sake that you haven't. It's not good. It's actually not that bad going down, but the aftertaste creates that involuntary shudder and once it's in your stomach it starts things moving and doesn't want to stay in there long. Ideally you end up having to go to the bathroom within about a half hour. But if you're my weak little stomach you will desire no part of the magnesium citrate and will promptly throw up the entire bottle of stuff. Luckily (?) I had to drink two bottles so I was counting on the second bottle to stay down and do all the work. And it was touch and go there but it all stayed down. Hooray!
So Wednesday I got no food. Thursday morning in we came to the hospital bright and early. Thankfully I was the first surgery of the day so even though I couldn't eat anything Thursday (not even gum!) it wasn't a big deal. I probably wasn't going to eat breakfast before 5am anyway. The surgery went swimmingly. They stuck my intestine back inside me and took the port-a-cath (technical term?) out of my chest and I was good to go. AND, wonder of wonders - I woke up without throwing up! It was a miracle. Thursday I was feeling pretty good. I ate some ice chips, sipped some water....things were alright.
Friday started out the same - clear liquid diet which was fine - I wasn't hungry anyway - and mostly just recovering from surgery (i.e. laying around). But then Friday afternoon my head started hurting something fierce. And I noticed that every time I pushed the little button for more pain medication I started to feel nauseated. So I stopped pushing it. But I kept feeling sicker and sicker. And soon enough I was puking my guts out.
Thankfully by Saturday morning I was feeling much better. And starving. I mean, I hadn't eaten anything "real" since Tuesday. And my last "real" meal was a vegan meal so that hardly counts. Unfortunately my doctors wanted to keep me on the clear liquid diet all day Saturday. So by late afternoon when Emily and Kyle came by with a burger and french fries I couldn't help myself. I ate some french fries. And then later I ate a snickerdoodle. And totally almost got caught. It was really close - I even had to spit out part of the cookie as the nurse was walking in. I guess I'm not the best patient ever.
So this morning my diet finally got changed - I could have real food! And it's been grand. Well, the eating part is grand. My insides haven't fully adjusted yet so they get pretty cramped up pretty immediately, but I'm grateful that despite the discomfort they seem to be working. And I don't have a bag anymore! Hallelujah! Instead I have a little tube sticking out that drains whatever fluids are in my belly needing to be drained. After having my intestine stuck to my belly, one little tube is not a big deal. I'll take it.
With a little bit of luck I'll be out of here by tomorrow morning! And it should be a lovely bag-free Christmas. :) My surgeon is the best.

Happy Birthday

In a mere matter of days my little sister will be turning 30. I know what you're thinking "you're not old enough to have a younger sister that's 30!" You're right. I'm way too youthful for that. Well, actually now that I have had cancer I feel like I'm old enough to have a sister that age. I mean who gets colon cancer? Old people. And heavy drinkers. So, cheers everyone!

And in honor of her upcoming special day, here are 30 things you may not have known about dear old sis (I would've saved this for your ACTUAL birthday but since I'll be in the hospital and high on drugs that day I am not entirely secure in what 30 things would end up coming out of my brain):
1. Most people think she's older than me. Not because she looks older - well actually she DOES look more adult so it probably IS partly that - but she also has kids and I don't. So. She's often known around my apartment as "my older younger sister."
2. Her favorite singer when we were young was Billy Joel. I remember her showing me how to moonwalk to "Uptown Girl." But when you're 4 moonwalking is basically just walking backwards. So I picked up on the technique easily but I don't think it's all that accurate.
3. She still has an old school ipod. Like the ones that first came out. But I guess if it still works...
4. When we were kids I stuck a stick in her ear (my early days of wanting to be a doctor) and scratched her ear drum. I was pretty sure well into my adult life that this was the cause of her partial deafness. ....But it's not, right?
5. She tells her kids that my parents' dog is their dog that just lives at grandma's house so that they don't beg for a pet. So far it seems to be working.
6. She is a fantastic artist. Not, like, kinda good - like REALLY good. If I could show you some of the stuff she painted (or drew or watercolored or whatever) in high school I would.
7. I remember one Christmas when we were writing our letters to Santa and she just kept putting down everything I was putting down. It really bugged me so I wrote down "caterpillar" thinking she wouldn't be so bold as to put that down too - who would ACTUALLY want a caterpillar? - but she wrote that down too. She's gutsy like that.
8. She convinced me to go to BYU Hawaii with her one summer. I don't know why I needed convincing but that's beside the point. She met her husband, and I got a job working 4pm - midnight four days a week. So, good call there sis!
9. We took sign language classes together in high school and college. She was really good. I was okay. We used to have her sign stories and I would "interpret" them for all the hearing people. Sometimes I took liberties with what she was signing. I don't think she thought it was as funny as I thought it was.
10. I was there when her first child was born. I was the photographer but I stayed up near her head and only took very classy photos.
11. We went to outdoor school together. That was unusual only because it was the year they were transitioning from having outdoor school be in sixth grade to fifth grade. So both sixth and fifth graders went that year.
12. We had bunk beds when we were young. One night she was bugging me about something and when she dropped her head over the side of the top bunk to annoy me again I pulled on her sleeve and pulled her right off that bunk. She's never let me live it down.
13. We went on a family vacation to Hawaii sometime while she was dating her now-husband. It must've been near when they got engaged or shortly after it. All I remember is he wasn't on vacation with us and she was mopey without him the whole time. Psh. Crazy engaged folk.
14. We used to play duets on the piano. She had the harder parts because she was the better pianist. She's still the better pianist. I'm not even a pianist. That would be giving myself way too much credit.
15. She was there when I found out I passed the bar. I was at her house (which was right by my work) when I checked online. She was appropriately excited for me.
16. She and her husband got me my first law job. I now hope to spend every unemployed holiday at their house in hopes that it will happen again.
17. She loves licorice. Specifically Twizzlers.
18. She can quote movies with the best of them. Although I'm pretty sure now that most of her movie quotes come from Disney flicks.
19. We were on the same softball team growing up. She played 2nd base and I was shortstop and I always thought it was cool that we held down the middle of the infield.
20. When she was 14 she had a wheelchair for awhile. We liked to kick her out of it as often as possible and practice doing wheelies in it.
21. Despite living in almost constant pain from her stupid joints, she never ever complains. Ever. I've always thought that was amazing.
22. Her lung sometimes spontaneously collapses. She didn't realize that for awhile since she didn't go to the doctor because she figured she just had a cramp from being out of shape. I'm pretty sure she has a really high pain tolerance.
23. If I ever get to be a mom I want to be a mom like her. I think she's so good at it. She's patient, loving, firm, fun and supportive of her kids. And they're all great kids. My plan is to try and copy her someday.
24. She's awfully selfless. Despite having a family of her own, when I was in the midst of chemo and radiation treatments (because why not do both at once?) she came down and stayed with me for a week cooking and cleaning and taking me to my appointments. And she bought me donuts too. It was so great having her here. Both my roomie and I missed her a lot when she left!
25. She saves me from being set up with just any random available guy. I appreciate that she uses discernment and decides she's never going to subject me to going out with someone nicknamed "Dusty Buns."
26. She's an amazing photographer. I really think she could make money taking pictures if she wanted to.
27. She's a fantastic writer. Even writing stuff like thank you notes. People would call my parents to tell them what a nice thank-you note they received from her after her wedding. (People did that with my other siblings too. Thanks a lot guys - way to set the bar low. )
28. She's loyal to the end. If she's on your side she's ON. YOUR. SIDE. It's a fabulous trait to have in a sister and in a friend. I know if I ever need anything (even if it's someone to be mad with me) she's there.
29. She's beautiful. (Sometimes this is annoying).
30. She's the best sister anyone could ask for. It's been a fun 30 years knowing her and I'm grateful to have her in my life.

San Francisco

It's been a long time since I put any pictures up in my posts. The reason for that is pretty simple: I don't take many pictures. Plus...how do you take a picture of cysts? Gross.

But now it's picture time. I only put a couple up though because I'm not sure my trip companions would approve of the other pictures. Not that we took pictures of anything sketchy - just that we're girls and they mentioned something about needing to approve the way they looked in pictures before the general public could see them.

The weekend before Thanksgiving (a wonderful time deserving of a post of its own although I don't know if that will ever actually happen), Amy and Tiffany and I went to San Francisco to celebrate Tiffany's birthday. It was a magical time. A time when we could appreciate mother nature and all her cold and rainy glory.

Really though it was fun. We did all the touristy things (well not ALL, but a lot of them) from Fisherman's Wharf to watching the seals off Pier 39 (that IS the right pier number, right?) to Ghiradelli Square (it's freezing outside and I didn't bring the appropriate jacket? Absolutely I'll have an ice cream sundae!) to Muir Woods. Walking through Muir Woods was awesome. And I must be a big baby because both Amy and Tiffany gave me the clothes off of their backs to try and keep me warm. So Amy's walking around in a dress, Tiffany has a sweatshirt, and I'm wearing a sweatshirt, Amy's sweater, Tiffany's jacket, Amy's mittens and hat and carrying the only umbrella (it was raining). Needless to say I was fine but I think Amy and Tiffany might have ended up with pneumonia afterward. Thanks for the clothes friends! :) Happy birthday Tiffany!

Of course we went down the crookedest street in the world. And then took a picture by it. And then looked it up on Google to see if it really was the crookedest street. It's not. But it's probably the most popular crooked street in the world. It was crazy to see how many people were just standing around taking pictures of it. So we joined in and got a picture. Why not?

We also hit up Coit Tower. It doesn't seem particularly tall when you're looking at it, but you can see all of San Francisco from the top. And when you look up you can see angels. Just kidding, all you can see is the sky. I don't know why we're looking up in this picture.

So our trip was fun. It was also nice for me because I had spent the whole week up north visiting Leah and her fam trying to get in good with my niece and nephews before they came down for Thanksgiving and played with the more fun aunts and uncles. It almost worked. But Laney and Chris are good. I can't compete with them!

Cysts? Really?

Well I must say the effects of chemo are wearing off nicely. Besides having my toes and the tips of my fingers feel like they're semi-asleep-in-the-process-of-waking-up-pins-and-needles-like, things are going well! Can't complain. About cancer. Can't complain about cancer.

But since my organs seem to hate me, certainly it would be crazy to just feel well again. So where my intestines have finally started to simmer down, my ovaries have decided to take up the protest against being in my abdomen. What is with everybody in there?! Why can't we all get along? Anyway I don't know if I explained this before but back before I got all radiated the doctors decided to go ahead and move my ovaries up out of their usual spot so that they wouldn't die. Seemed like a nice plan. And I'm glad they did it. But apparently my ovaries don't like being up by my kidneys because one of them has revolted and instead of being its usual walnut size it has ballooned up into the size of my fist. And it's pushing against my kidney and causing a fair amount of pain. Boo! I guess ovarian cysts (that's the problem here) are fairly common - especially when you "transpose" ovaries. And a lot of cysts are painless and go away on their own. If only that was the case here! I mean, it may go away on its own (fingers crossed) but it has decided to make itself known in the meantime with all its stabby pain. It almost makes me miss cancer. Almost.

Anyway besides the constant cyst pain things are going swimmingly. And a week from today I have my last surgery! So close to being DONE done forever! I can't wait. I think I'll have to celebrate by getting a job. Ah the life of an adult. :)