Five down, one to go

I made it through treatment #5! I was worried about it; can't say as I ever get excited about my next treatment even though I know each one gets me closer to the end. Still the thought of getting stabbed, sitting in the chair for a couple hours having poison poured into my bloodstream, and then getting up feeling all kinds of woozy and cold and weird usually wins out over the thought "one more down!"

But now, days later, the "one more down" is starting to sink in a little more. They lowered my dosage a little bit this round which I think contributed to my hands and feet feeling a little less sensitive (i.e. they didn't hurt as soon as we got in the cold hallway). But it didn't seem to lessen the nausea. It was odd - I didn't feel that ill feeling of "I have to throw up" but I did have an objective feeling of "yes, I will throw up shortly." I managed to hold it in until we were on the freeway when it just couldn't be helped. And since I didn't have much to throw up in (we did find a plastic bag) I managed to make a mess of my clothes and my car. Whoops! I bet my mom was glad I offered to take MY car instead of her car like we usually do! A quick stop at a gas station to clean up and try to puke anything else that might be lingering up and we were on our way again.

Nothing like throw up stories on blogs.

Since then I've felt much better; no throwing up! The side effects are what they are (as usual) and I can manage to sleep the better part of the day away and think nothing of it, but as long as the toxins are killing off what they're supposed to then so be it. I'll take the side effects if it means I get to live!

Today I ate ice cream

The title really says it all. There's nothing like a little chemo to make you appreciate the finer things in life. Like eating ice cream. Usually (read: for the two and a half weeks following each treatment) I can't touch or ingest anything cold. I've said that before - I think everyone gets the point by now. But not being able to eat anything cold means you give up a lot of deliciousness. Mainly ice cream and Jamba Juice. But today I was able to eat ice cream! For the first time since my 2nd treatment (the cold thing never wore off after the third treatment)! And it was just as good as I remembered it.
Tomorrow I'm going to have a Jamba Juice. Gotta live this up while I can 'cause come Thursday we're back in the chemo saddle (boo and yay - almost done!). But don't worry Mom - other than the daily cold thing I'm going to have, I'll try to eat healthy like I told you I would. Gotta keep those red blood cells and white blood cells up!

Dreaming

All the sleeping I've been doing has led to some amazing dreams. I usually dream about stuff related to my day. They're usually good dreams, they're just...not crazy. But now on chemo they're crazy. In a very entertaining way. I often wake up thinking "I just dreamed what would be a great movie." But once awake I realize that sleepy me doesn't make wise, rational, or logical decisions.

Like once I had a dream about a fat girl who was sister to the two main characters in my dream and her name was Lorna Doone and I thought that was BRILLIANT! Or the time I dreamed I was playing soccer (quite well really) in a vanilla ice cream field covered in whip cream. It was like playing in snow except I was really tempted to eat the snow/ice cream. But I didn't because of the same reason you don't eat food off the ground (unless you just dropped it): society frowns on you.

I should start writing my dreams down here as soon as I wake up because I think they're pretty good. But maybe making them accessible to the public would show me that they're not actually good. And I would stop making plans to make money off writing scripts based on my dreams. Because the other thing is I don't dream whole movies although I think I do while it's happening. I wake up thinking "I have a whole story!" only to realize "wait, I have a scene in which my sister-in-law is getting a lifetime award for cheerleading and is suspended above the ground on wires."

Anyway I am grateful for this side effect of chemo because at least it's a fun one!

Round 4 Down

Since the advent of the two additional anti-nausea medications, I am happy to report that I don't usually feel like throwing up. Of course the sentiment hits me on occasion, but for the greater part of the day that's not something I'm left dealing with. Which is great.

My newest struggle is to stay awake. My little cocktail of drugs I take (to weather the chemo) really knocks me out. I've never slept so soundly in my life (and I consider myself a fairly sound sleeper)! Just yesterday my mom would wake me up and ask me if I wanted to eat (which I never do but I need to in order to take the chemo pills), and I said yes and as she got up to get me some food I promptly fell asleep again. Like OUT asleep. Where you have to shake someone to wake them up. That happened three times in a row. Finally around 11pm I pulled it together enough to be awake by the time my food got to me.

Other than the sleepiness I'm alright. There's the general malaise feeling of being sick and, of course, the mittens I sport since I can't touch anything cold. Including silverwear. That stuff is icy! But it's all the same stuff as before so now it's just a matter of puttering through. Taking the licks as they come and hoping the days go by quickly. And trust me, when you sleep through most of them, they go by quickly.

I'm still dreading rounds 5 and 6 since all these side effects are cumulative and they don't seem to be getting any easier, but hopefully I'll just sleep right through those too and call it good. :) Because come mid-October I should be doing great again! Or at least good again! And I surely cannot wait for that.